Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
