Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
In other news, I just burned my penis
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
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