just survived the first fart of the relationship.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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