i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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