I will die if light touches me.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
