ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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