It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
