Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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