conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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