I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
