She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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