Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
