If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
