No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
