that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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