this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He? As in you personified your dick?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
