First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
