apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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