she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
