please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
