Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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