Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
