turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
