WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
