TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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