We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
