the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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