he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
