It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
