Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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