I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
