I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
