It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
as a side note pls kill me
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
