so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
