I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
