your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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