I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
