I want to make a zoo with you.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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