I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
