Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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