when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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