we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
