Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
