Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
