your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
