I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
