Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
