I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
organizing the empties. That sober.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
