it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
