My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
