I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
