Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
