At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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