so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
