hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
