weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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