Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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