I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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